There really would be writing to be done! Yesterday, from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m., I did not have a single - I mean even one - minute of freedom. Since Marta had to go to Lucca, Mrs. Lucarini came. At 9 a.m. she left and was replaced by Alba Sorbi. Alba left, and Enzo Lucarini came. Marta came back at 3 p.m., and Enzo left. While Marta was still preparing the soup - for I had not yet eaten anything - when Miss Pellini came. Mr. Lucarini was then added on, and, later, his son and his wife. Then, in a group, Dr. Winspaer, his wife, his daughter Rosanna, and his niece Alba arrived. There were thus ten people in the room...!
Finally, at 7 p.m., they all left, and I was able to wash. And I shall say nothing more. And I say this to show whether I could write. And in order for anyone to understand the state I am in at night with such a merry-go-round of people....
Ah, I forgot! After 7 p.m., when I had just finished washing, there appeared the sister of the owner of the house with her little niece, who felt obliged to keep me company while Marta prepared her dinner. What do you think of that…?
Fourteen hours of slavery and exertion, and I was breathless afterwards, without a pulse, and plunges like a stone into the depths of a sopor from which I returned around 3 a.m., with atrocious torments. Is there still someone who feels I must exercise greater patience? Jesus is certainly not this “someone”! He complains about so much waiting for our work. But He says (and said so a short time ago), “This will be of use for many.” In what sense, or in how many senses He means, I don’t know.
I received a promise from Him. I was saying, “Jesus, how I would like to see your coming-of-age ceremony!” He replied, “It will be the first thing I give you as soon as we can be ‘ourselves’ without disturbing the mystery.796 And you shall place it after the scene with my Mother as my Teacher and the Teacher of Judas and James, which I gave you recently (October 29). You shall place it between this one and the Dispute in the Temple.”
He was silent for a while, smiling and caressing me, and then He became serious and severe and said:
“I shall give this... if I see that my gift and my instrument are not treated badly. By those who are closest to you. It is not possible to demand respect from everyone for the dictations and the ‘spokesman.’ Respect and charity. But at least from those who, because they are in contact with you, must, if they are upright, comprehend how much supernatural reality there is in this matter and act accordingly in regard to it.
“You are a nonentity. But I have called you to this mission. I have formed you for this, watching over even your mental formation. I have given you an extraordinary capacity for composition because I needed it to make you the illustrator of the Gospel or mystical scenes in which I would speak or act personally or in my servants. I crucified you in the affections of your heart and in your flesh for this reason. So that you would be free from all slavery in affections and be the mistress of an amount of time in your schedule which no one who is healthy can have. I have also suppressed your physical needs for nourishment, sleep, and rest, reducing them to an insignificant minimum, for this reason. In a body which is tormented and worn down by five serious, painful major illnesses and by ten other minor ones, I have increased your energy to lead you to be able to do what someone healthy and well nourished could not do, for this reason.
“And I would like this to be understood as a sure sign. But this arid, perverse generation does not understand anything. Be careful, though, that the Lord may not give a sign of punishment! I can, if I want to. And I would make you happy, little John, my little love. I can take you with Me and leave them, without respect and without faith, or with a mere shadow of faith and respect, to struggle with the crumbs of what I intended to give.
Crumbs in comparison to the mass of work which I would be able to give.
“You are a nonentity. But into your ‘nothingness’ I entered and said, ‘See, speak, and write.’ The nonentity has become my instrument. And what is mine is always consecrated and should be treated as something consecrated.
“Hear the parable.
“At a goldsmith’s there are different silver goblets, some of them embossed and with art and inlaid work in gold and also gems, and others that are beautiful only because of the metal and their smooth, flared shape, like the calyx of a lily on a thin stem.
“Some buyers come and look. Many, wealthy gentlemen, buy goblets for their sumptuous dwellings. They take the most beautiful ones, entirely inlaid, embossed, and bejeweled. And they carry them off. Finally, a humble priest, with the offerings of his parishioners, buys a chalice which is silver alone. The simplest, most humble one, as that priest is and as is the church he governs. As humble as the purchase he can afford with the small amount of the offerings, saved up coin by coin.
“The poor priest carries off his treasure. He is happy on considering that Jesus will descend with his Blood and his Body, and with his Soul and his Divinity, into that new chalice, more worthy of Him, the Most Holy One, and not into the other one, which is now reduced, after decades of use, to a really bad state. And he cannot wait for it to be Sunday morning so as to be able to use it, place it on the sacred stone, and pronounce the holy words over it: ‘This is the Chalice of my Blood....’ Oh, how holy that chalice is in his eyes and in the eyes of those who believe, since therein faith sees the Blood of Jesus Christ, the Savior, the Word of God, the Son of the Eternal Father! It shines, not because of the gleaming, new silver, but with all the Light it contains!
“Now, tell Me: if a thief were to sneak at night into both the rich dwellings where the magnificent goblets were taken and this church, where in a poor closet the simple chalice rests, waiting to be used at dawn for daily Mass, which would be the greater theft? That of the rich goblets? No. The other one. For it is no longer a theft - it is sacrilege. On descending into that chalice, I have raised it up to a nobility which exceeds and surpasses every other form of nobility in price, workmanship, material, and beauty. It is sacred because I have chosen it, and it must be considered sacred and used as something sacred ought to be used. With respect.
“Let whoever has ears to hear listen.
“That’s enough for now. The little John is already exhausted. Happier, because he has received something.... You are a great beggar! But even more exhausted. Come on. In peace.
“Learn to greet as I taught you (November 3). You do so only rarely and always forget to open your letters this way. Remember to.
“My peace be with you.”
He is right. I forget to, though I like it a lot. I am absentminded!
I don’t at all like to hear that Jesus is unhappy. He is unhappy with something happening in our closest circle. I am sure. What a hurry I am in to “see” this new scene in his life as a boy! My Jesus...! To have me write this He got me to move before the day began because afterwards there is no more freedom to. It is now eight o’clock, and the comings and goings are beginning....
796 It would be given on December 21.