I have just received Holy Communion, offered for my return and for a happy trip for the Belfanti family.795
And as I pray, especially for Paola, whose happiness I would like to see, in supernatural and also human terms, as she deserves, I reflect on Giuseppe as well.... Often, quite often I reflect on him and on many points in his muddled self. And I wonder, “Is he really freed? Is he really on the right path? Will he be able to remain on it? And will he be able to proceed on it until dying as a Catholic?”
Jesus, who has not abandoned me in these seven days in which I have suffered the abandonment of my relatives - and his presence has removed from this suffering the excessive character it would have had, in such fashion that I have looked at it as an unpleasant event, but not as really mine, something happening, but barely involving one because other things preserve one therefrom - says to me: “Don’t delude yourself too much. He is sincere, but not firm. There is too much pride in him. And pride is the ground on which Satan rests his foot again to undertake once more his work on a heart that has been torn away from him. Judas - and many others along with him - had sincere desires for good and sincere returns to good. But he later yielded to the assaults of evil, which seemed close to dying in him, and caressed it. Evil then felt stronger and recovered boldness and life. Diabolical possession is the illness which most forcefully reappears, and only in a humble person does it really die. But it is hard for a possessed individual to be humble. Pride is the first seed sown by Satan.”
“But You said that ‘You love him because You see him as sincere and desirous of following the Truth.’ And so?”
“And so? He is like that now. Judas, too, was that way when he would come to Me with the intention of being my disciple or becoming one again. But afterwards... you have seen him! How many Judases! How many unfortunates! Everywhere! In homes, offices, and convents. Superiors must have watchful, open spiritual eyes. Say this to Father Migliorini. These unfortunates do not always want to be such. But they are not sufficiently strong and firm. The superior must watch over and support them, and watch over himself.
“In what?”
“Oh, in many things! To be careful about choosing them for special posts and special assignments; to be careful about admitting them to secret knowledge. Especially with the young, with so little formation at the present time! Where are the Johns of Zebedee? Where are the deacons like Lawrence? Be very, very careful! That’s enough for now. Remain in my peace.”
795 They left on November 10, as remarked in the entry for that day.