After thanksgiving for Holy Communion, as I say my daily prayers, I feel that jolt, shall we say, that special sensation I experience when Jesus wants to bless me with one of his graces.
I shall never manage to explain this phenomenon properly. It is like a warning received by my whole self. It goes to the soul, but matter, too, feels it. The soul, with a sudden, supernatural peace and joy, remaining as yet unnamed, but existing; and the body, with a kind of thrill which is at the same time warmth and a sensation of well-being. A sort of physical somnolence then comes upon me, and I thus desire to recollect myself in silence and solitude and abandon myself on the pillows as if in sleep. But in reality my mind and spiritual faculties are more awake than ever and see and hear and enjoy, living intensely. Only physical strength diminishes, as if from languor or fainting. But it is a great joy...!
This morning I have sunk - and see it as I write - into heaps of heavenly snow, as if I were on boundless, extremely white snow fields against the clearest blue. The snow is formed by numberless hosts of angels: living pearls flying through the sapphire of the sky. Angels and angels and angels: light and harmony. Lights compared to which the whitest pearls and the clearest diamonds are dull and sullied; harmonies compared to which the most perfect and sweetest singing on earth is a discordant clamor.
Festive circles of snowy light, circles around the even brighter, more splendid light of the Most Blessed Mother of God. Such a sparkling light that I see Mary’s face and hands as if they belonged to suns beaming out rays that are almost unbearable to the eye, in such fashion that her beloved face and dear hands joined in prayer are visible to me only with difficulty behind the veil of light which radiates out from them and surrounds them with a halo, a gossimer screen of glorious luminosity. But, half closing the eyes of my soul before such brilliance, I perceive Mary’s blessed smile, her gentle gaze, humble and chaste, so loving, with her eyes turned downwards - towards the poor earth and the poor Maria who I am - half concealed by her eyelids. The gaze of a humble, modest virgin, happy with her feast, but not proud of it. With her act, She seems to be repeating the Magnificat,576 which, if it is recognition of God’s gifts to Her, is, above all, praise of God.
I see nothing else except the festive angels and the Mother and Queen, standing upright on her shining underpinning (light in what is different from light rising to envelop Her in light), most beautiful in her dress of pearls turned into cloth, turned into light which is brighter than the light enveloping Her, and in her face and hands, which are so blazing that they surpass all luminosity.
What radiance is that our Mother! My soul has become white and fresh, as if, as I said at the beginning, I were on boundless snow fields and saw nothing but immaculate snow against a clear sky and under a bright sun.
Oh, Paradise...!
12 Noon. Ezekiel 44 (If I Read Properly)
Jesus says:
“You have seen the Inviolate One rejoicing in Heaven, the closed Ark where nothing and no one could set a hand, for in the place where God has entered it is not licit for man to enter, or what is joined to man, blameworthy in Adam. For Her the end of life was glorious, immediate Life, for the one who had borne the Living One could not experience death, and the one who was not profaned by humanity could not experience the profanation of the tomb. But the great Queen, enraptures the angels in the joy of ecstasy, gives you another teaching.
“‘The prince himself shall take his seat before it to eat his bread before the Lord,’ it is stated.577
“No one, no matter how great, can come into my sight unless he recognizes in Mary, the closed Gate where only God has entered, the Mother of the Savior, the Virgin Mother, and the Divine Mother.
“I have joined Her to my destiny as the Living One in Heaven to tell you what her glory is. She is inferior to God alone because He created Her. But her maternity and her pain as coredeemer make her exalted above all other creatures. The Gate of God, from Her there issue forth faith, hope, and charity; from Her, temperance, justice, fortitude, and prudence; from Her, Grace and graces; from Her, salvation; and from Her, God made Flesh comes to you.
“O my Mother! For the Pontiff and for the least of believers, you are the holy ciborium where the Eucharist waits to be given to those who believe. All graces pass through your inviolate body, through your immaculate heart. And mysteries and truths and sacraments and gifts are known with true wisdom and savored with knowledge and fruit only by those who are able to request them from You, before You. You are the screen between the Sun and souls and between souls and God, whereby the Divinity may be contemplated by man, and humanity, be presented to the Perfect One. You are the Mother who have given God to man and give man to God, instructing him with your smile and your love.
“My little John, always come to Me by passing through Maria. It is the secret of the saints. She is the closed Gate that did not open and will never open through human violence, the holy Gate whereby only God may pass; She opens at the loving touch of a son or daughter of God. She opens benignly. The humbler and simpler the spirit turning to Her is, the more She opens and receives you. She receives you to teach you Wisdom and Love by holding you in her arms as a Mother.
“Go, John, to your Teacher, who loves you.578
“What follows, furthermore, is for another group of people who are unable to be ‘little Johns’ or voices of Christ.
“‘The Levites who separated from Me when the sons of Israel strayed away ...will be the keepers and bearers of the house.... But the priests and Levites who are sons of Zadok...will approach Me and stand in my presence.... I am their inheritance.’579
“This does not happen only with priests in the literal sense of the word. Let us take it in a vaster meaning: believers, or Christians, if you prefer.
“The one who believes serves God. With Baptism and Confirmation you are committed to this. By fidelity to the ceremonies you want to say to God, to yourselves, and to the world that you want to serve God. You are, then, without consecration, little priests of your God. You should be such, for I call all of you around Me to love Me and serve Me in this life and the future one.
“But what happens, then? Why, from the height of the Heavens, do we see too many Levites who, when the world goes astray, separate from Me to go after idols which, if they are shameful for every man whom Grace has made a son of God, are supremely shameful and a profanation for someone consecrated? Why are there other religions and other ceremonies for them? Why have they turned selfishness, sensuality, money, and ambition into their religion? Why do they serve deceit by having only a robe and not a priestly soul?
“And why must I choose among the sons of Zadok those who replace the voices that have become mute and the lamps that have gone out? Out of mercy on the world. Yes. Out of mercy.
“But woe to those whom I must reject for the role of keepers of my House, nothing more than keepers! In every century there were those chosen to replace them. Coming from every profession and social level. Carried by the whirlwind of love, they rose very high to purify themselves in the Fire and be instructed by the voices of the Divine Flame. They looked at God for an instant, with the sincere good will to see Him. And the vision consecrated them to his service.
“And I thus say to you, ‘For their faithfulness they shall stand in my presence; their gifts shall be pleasing to Me; I will instruct them in the Truth; I will be their inheritance.’
“Oh, come, O my blessed ones! Come - you, to whom the Truth has been revealed, not by the work of man, but by the will of God as a reward for your faithful love; you, to whom one may say as I said to Simon, ‘Blessed are you, for neither flesh nor blood, but my Father in Heaven has granted that you may know Wisdom and know the Christ.’580 Remain upon my heart. It is full of teachings for you and of infinite love.”
Jesus adds, “I wanted to give you a commentary suitable for today’s feasts: Our Lady of the Angels and St. Alphonsus Liguori.”581
576 Luke 1:46-55.
577 Ezekiel 44:3.
578 “Little John” is meant, as in other passages.
579 Ezekiel 44:10-28.
580 Matthew 16:15-17.
581 St. Alphonsus Liguori (1696-1787), Doctor of the Church.